Tuesday, August 10, 2004 /

i don't know why i'm being so stupid. it's obvious, it's hopeless. but i'm still clinging on to every straw of hope, like some desperate fool. i feel so angry with myself!

i feel terrible.

and all those small things (yeah, i know i said they made me happy). they made me feel terrible today. it's as though i'm struggling with my own thoughts - those teasing thoughts. i tried sleeping them off, but i eventually woke up. and they came rushing back to me in my consciousness.

that dream. i think it meant something. do i read more into it? ..maybe.

char | 6:31 pm